School.
School is coming back,
Bouncing around homework, yippee.
Fun for none this fall.
Experiences;
Far too many for my liking;
Much talk and gossip.
Like a sly spider;
Luring you in for ambush,
it seems nice at first.
Ugly, pretty kind.
They will all be left behind.
By jealousy.
Jealous of those:
with good grades, good looks, good lives.
School simply brings lies.
Let’s go to school now;
And pretend to have some fun,
always pretending.
Hurt, pain. Guilt, blame. Every emotion feels the same.
Emotions had always hurt Ella. There was never one that did not bring her pain. Not everuone knew her secret, but it felt like they all did. What would they think of her? Would she ever be able to let her cruel, twisted emotions show? Ella only ever expressed herself through her music. She hoped that would be enough. But why, all of a sudden, did everyone seem deph?
She was drowning. 6 feet under emotional torcher. Buried alive. She was screaming, hoping, praying someone would care. Silence. That was the response she received.
Even her closest friends appeared blind and oblivious to her pains. If they ever noticed a mark on her skin, they already knew that it had to be the cat that attacked her.
Or was it Ella herself?
Was it her mind?
Was it society?
Could she ever be fixed?
No, Ella thought. Trust is like paper. Once it is crumpled, it can never be smoothed back to perfection again. Maybe it was just her emotions she couldn’t trust. Those cruel, twisted emotions. But who can trust them?
What happened. When did everything change? I’m not sure if the change is good or bad. I’ve become pretty. I’ve been hurt. I’ve been betrayed. My castle stands upon pillars of sand. This is just my life. Viva La Vida. Maybe it’s just a metaphor, but metaphors are important.
Sometimes things like that help. When you are feeling down, and such.
Nothing ever ends up how you think it will. But, it’s always darkest before the dawn. Sometimes, if you just hang in there, hold on for one more day, a day full of surprises and happiness awaits you. Sometimes, an even worse day will follow. You just have to remember that if there was no bad, we would know no good. Everything would just be neutral, and that could be even worse. Also remember: if you hurt yourself, you also hurt the people who were trying to protect you all along. If you feel like you are on the edge of suicide, read Lauren Oliver’s Before i Fall
I know viva la vida is about the french revolution, but I think it is also a good representation of human life. By the Spanish definition, viva la vida means “Live the Life.” Because, when all else fails what will we have? Our lives. Live it up, shake it off. You have this. If you are looking for a sign not to commit suicide, here it is. You have this. You will survive. Keep going. Just keep swimming.
“Never an honest word,
But that was when I ruled the world.”
bienvenido 